Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Favourite Geek Jokes

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't

Infinite mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter pint. The fourth orders an eighth of a pint. the fifth orders a sixteenth of a pint. The barman sighs, and pours two pints.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

A cloud of Argon drifts into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses in here". The Argon doesn't react.

Two chemists are working in a lab. One turns to the other and asks "Know any good jokes about Sodium?". The other shakes his head and says "Na".

Werner Heisenberg is speeding down a highway, when he's pulled over by the police. The cop walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, sir, do you know how fast you were driving?" Heisenberg looks up to the officer and says, "Nope, but I know exactly where I was!"

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go hunting. 50m away from them they spot a deer. The physicist calculates the trajectory of the bullet in a vacuum, raises his rifle and shoots. The bullet lands 5m short. The engineer adds a term to account for air resistance, lifts his rifle a little higher and shoots. The bullet lands 5m long. The statistician yells “we got him!”.

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